Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
