Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
