i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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