M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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