Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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