you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm sobbing to NWA
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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