it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
barbara walters just said penis...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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