Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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