Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
