I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
