2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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