Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
