I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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