dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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