I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
