Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
