From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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