I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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