I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
