The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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