I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
