Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
