i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
