for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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