tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
