My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
