im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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