He asked to "fluff my boner.."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
