I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
