Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
