I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
