Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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