They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Damn victory sex feels great
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