Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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