remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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