I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
