Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
