Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
