Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
