I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
