If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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