At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
