Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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