you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
