I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
