Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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