we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
