we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
