NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Then you guys just all showered together...?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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