I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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